>Turn on the radio. Gotta have some tunes while you investigate all this junk!



Yeah! Wait, these don't sound like sensual sounds and melodies at all, in fact it more sounds like some manner of radio talkshow. Let's listen.
-Good Afternoon Casper Island, this is the One O'Clock show, and I'm your host August Rhodes.-

>>



-Top of the order for our show, earlier today, that Old Wisewoman on the north end of the island reported some strange signs in the soup, foretelling a cataclysmic future of death destruction and armageddon for us all!-

>Take three random items out of your inventory and put them on those squares on the science platform, then press the green button again.



>>



-Ordinarily I'd be advising you heed these warinings most diligently, dear listeners,-



-but I've been informed by the most honest and gracious Enlightened Wizard of the Island, that there is nothing to be worried about, and that that Old Women is probably just senile or something. Still though, something to contemplate.-

>Consult green crab on the scientific implications of this device.



-Anyway, our next order of business, dear friends, I've heard from the Swallows that we have a new guest or two on the Island, while I've not seen them yet, and can't confirm of their disposition, I can speculate that they'll be a lovely addition to our community,-

>Put one of the crabs in the console, stand on the pad and tell them to press the button.



-and I suggest you give them a warm welcome. Now you might've noticed the weather took a strange turn all of a sudden,-

>>



-maybe that's related to these new guests? Maybe, It's rather weird aint it, strangers show up on the Island and all of a sudden a storm whips up, hmm, maybe that Senile Old Spinster ain't completely out of it completely.-

>put the lady's picture in the slot



-Eh, what else have we got on the docket, ah yes, those Skeletal Soldier weirdos are still being weird, graverobbing, skeleton nabbing, being all around antisocial and weird, steer clear of them new guests, if you are listening, they'll probably eat your flesh or something I don't know, I don't pretend to understand the mores and behaviours of weird skeleton people.-

>Put the two plush dames and the picture on the green platform and then turn it on again



-But oh, it appears we're out of time. I'll leave you off with these parting remarks to our dear new friend, if they're listening anyway-



-Make yourself comfortable stranger, our dear island is strange, and dangerous, but most importantly, its very possessive, escape is very much outside the realm of any realistic proposition. So welcome, to Casper Island. This has been August T. Rhodes, signing off, until next time.

>>



Wait what did the radio say, you sort of tuned it out, but you think you heard something along the lines of 'escape is impossible'.

>Actually, the line was "escape is very much outside the realm of any realistic proposition", which isn't so much of 'it's impossible' as 'it's very unlikely', so there's no need to worry about that.



Oh your mistake, that's soooooo much better.

>Capture the lizard roaming about the room with the net, and test the buttons on it



You attempt to do so, but sweet MERRY CRYSTAL, this NEWT is a wily one leading you a merry chase around the cramped environs of this bedroom lab, sometimes you get close to CAPTURING the wee beast, but it slips away before you can SEAL THE DEAL.

>>



CONFOUND IT ALL TO BLITHERAN HECK

>What's up with that one bricked up section of wall, anyway?



Good Question, according your map, such that it is, this here brick and morter barricade should lead further abreach into the OVERCOMPLEX TUNNEL NETWORK of this Island. One assumes that the previous OCCUPANT of this DOUR GROTTO HOME blocked it off to prevent any undue incursions into their residence.

>Ask green if she would like to be fused for the sake of science.



You ask if GREENBACKS would like to participate in a SCIENCE EXPERIMENT, one involving YOU and the COMBINAMAJIGGY over there. She takes a few moments to contemplate this, you assure Her there's no pressure, after all, considering the nature of this MAD SCIENCE, you certainly wouldn't want an unwilling participant.
She says 'no.' Well alright then.

>Check under the mattress.



Look at you go, picking up that mattress like a well trained Psuedoprofessional Longshoreman, or TEAMSTER perhaps, perhaps you were one in a past life, or a past job. Anyway, you find no trap door, there are some DUBIOUS UNDERGARMENTS, and COINS!

>>



The Coinage is immediately deposited into your FISCAL ABSTRACTA, where you can see this is apparently HM'S CURRENCY the POUND STERLING, you would never have guessed because those coins had images of CLAMS and WEIRDOS on them, although you must admit English Historical figures were never your forte, anyway though...

>Notice the Rad(e) Girl Plushie on the platform. Might as well take it for now.



It appears to be some sort of combination of the PLUSH DAMES and also the LADY in the PICTURE, it is, as you would conclude, quite THE BUSINESS, or as the fine minded youth of your technical peer group might say, QUITE RAD.

>Snoop around on the computer





But enough of these other distractions of PERSNICKETY SALAMANDERS, MERRIGOLD DOLL DAMSELS or BOOGEY LOOT, you're gonna upgrade your distractions to the modern age by distracting yourself with this OLD SCHOOL COMPUTATIONAL DEVICE, look at all the ICONS.
YEAH!!!!

>Impishly sabotage this computer by changing the wallpaper background to something silly for a quick laugh.



Ha-Ha! Yes, that sounds like a right sonny idea-er, but what, you could rummaged throught the picture files of this computer for something silly... or.... you could.. yes!

>Do a self portrait in an art program and use it for the background



This is, without a doubt, the greatest thign that has ever been created in the very brief history of the human race. Nothing else can top this, it's all down-hill from here.

>Try to google "how much is £20"



Unfortunately there doesn't appear to be any sort of net browser, with which to access google... not even the much derided Internet Conquistador.

>Open "Computer", and try to see what connected networks and devices are available.



Well it seems that there is precisely one. "ULTMTTRSSVR" what sort of bizzare thingamaboop that could be eludes you as your are not entirely up to schnops on extreme contractions, well except that it's probably some sort of server.

>Check out Squawker.



It appears to be a manner of Instant Messaging service and/or Chatroom.. that's mostly used by birds if you're understanding these conversations correctly.