Post making contest 6.0 - Printable Version

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¹And I saw a new Eagle Time and a new Hawkspace: for the first Eagle Time and the first Hawkspace were passed away; and there was no more h's, because they were all in the tras. ²And I Kíeros saw a the cursed thread, new Post Making Contest, coming down from Dlorph out of the Jackboxes, prepared as a gal pal adorned for their besties forever ceremony. ³And I heard a great glitter text out of the Jackboxes saying, but again, not in glitter text because it's a fucking long passage, BEHOLD! The winning t-shirt of Dlorph is with shitposters, and they will dwell with them, and they shall be their forumites, and Dlorph themselves will be with them, and be their Dlorph. ⁴And Dlorph shall wipe away the tears from their Crying Eagle

, and there shall be no more rules hells, neither tentacles, nor illegal emojis, neither shall there be any more posting like every single night in the 2AM thread: for the former things have passed away. ⁵And they that sat upon the invisible checkbox said Behold, I make all things gay! And they said unto me Post: For these words are totally not links to the tricked thread. ⁶And they said unto me It has been won. I am the the and the DLC, the day start and the no lynch. I will give unto them that is athirst Gatorade or Pepsi of the restocked cooler of memes freely. ⁷They that figureth out the rules shall win this round; and I will be their Dlorph, and they shall be my go go kiwi. ⁸But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, so pretty much just you Kíeros because by Dlorph was this round a lot harder and more evil than you thought it was going to be, shall have their grand battle in New Zealand, which burneth with bad memes and the Eagle Time Banner: which is the second [USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST] ⁹And there came unto me one of the five glitter texts which had the five lubrications full of these five horrible rules, and talked with me, saying,

¹⁰And they carried me away in the post preview pane to the totally resistant ghost post, and shewed me that horrible thread, the Post Making Contest, descending out of the Jackboxes from Dlorph, and also why does this translation that I'm looking at this from use 'shew' instead of 'show', like seriously, what the fuck? ¹¹Having the glory of Dlorph: and their light was like unto a We Are Number One parody most precious, even like a Z-stone, clear as mud. ¹²And had a wallpost GreatWheat and high (420 BLAZE IT), and had four gates... wait, what the fuck? Only four? Aren't there five rules? ¹³And since there's no real good place to put the rules in while still copying this text, I'm just going to put them in right now and stop the biblical paraphrase shtick.

¹⁴Conquest was that the post must contain a number of unique letters equal to ten plus the last digit of the post number, and that the most frequently used letter had to be used a number of times equal to the penultimate digit of the post number (or ten times, if there was a zero there). ¹⁵This was a conquest, for long ago, in the document with the rules, Ix put a reminder that Akumu would use this someday, so I just took it over.
¹⁶War was that in taking the card values present in a post (either the numbers 2-10 or the leters J Q K or A individually, or the words spelling them out anywhere in a post, like in the words written, baking, or space), ¹⁷then the post must tie the first number provided in the previous post, and then beat them before the end of the post or losing to them. So basically, war.
¹⁸Famine was that the number of posts that a user has made this round, modulo 47, gives the number of a ruleset, and the post has to fail as many of those rules as possible.
¹⁹Death was that the previous post made by the poster had to pass all the rules of the most recent ruleset. ²⁰You know, sort of like death abuse? Where you can use dying in a speedrun to do something unintentional, like duplicating an item 128 times, getting to an area before you should be allowed to, or passing rule 4.
²¹Memeing, just like in real life, was a distraction.[/size]