SpoilerI've driven on that road before, but honestly I probably would have been able to figure out where you were just by bumper stickers alone.

That catholic radio station there is one of the worst things that I've ever been forced to listen to. How can anybody manage to talk about the evils of abortion for hours on end, every single day without fail? Don't Catholics have any other interests at all?

SpoilerI know a lot of people here are from the MSPA Forums, so you know or are at least familiar with Arms. Well, she's one of the people who I follow on Tumblr. A few days back, she found a tumblr blog closetedlesbianopinions. And she reblogged quite a few of them that described her before she figured it out. I saw them and thought to myself "wow, if a few of those described someone, they really should be thinking about their identity".
Well, someone else saw that first tumblr, and started up another one, closetedtransgirlopinions, for a different audience but in much the same style. And Arms also found it, and started reblogging stuff from it, and I thought to myself "wow, that fits me. And so does that one. And... that one I feel was written with me in mind. And... uh...". Now I think that having that first set really helped because I really had no reason to be questioning my identity and so by having the thing where I thought that before made me at least somewhat open.
So after seeing those few ones that were on my dash, I went to the blog proper and looked through every single post that was there and about three quarters of them described how I felt to some degree, and a third of them were super me. Like "ive been reading lots of transformation fiction online and it makes me feel really guilty but also really good but i still wouldn’t want to be a girl because that would be gross" direct quote from the site and I have thought that numerous times. Or even the most recent one, which came up as I was nearing the end, but I saw and wow it fits. "Why am I trying to sing the alto line? Oh just as a challenge you know? :) its not like I practice it at home and start crying when I can’t hit the high notes :)" Excuse me, but if I'm not singing the soprano line at the correct octave, something's wrong and I totally don't feel horrible if I can't hit the top notes.
And now after that, I'm just thinking about all sorts of things about me that I've done and it's very... just you know if I was actually trans then it would make some sort of sense. Like I was ordering some stuff, and I decided to get a necklace because hey it was on sale, and when I got it, my first thought was "wow, is this girly; not me, but hey, it was on sale so I think I'll wear it like once or twice" and now I'm thinking "I can't wait to get back up to school so I can wear it again, because it feels just right and natural". And I have spent quite a time up at school looking for a skirt or stockings becayse something about wearing those feels... just some way that I can't describe.
I mean, one of my first memories on MSPA Forums was I did math on some part of an update, and someone jokingly said "she's a witch, burn her!" and my response was something like "haha, I'm a boy, but whatever it's not like it really matters right?" And now on games like ACNL, you'd have to be hard-pressed to tell that my character's actually a boy. And like there's a thing I'm playing online where you can transform characters into other characters and somehow, like 80% of the ones I do start with a design that looks a lot like me and end up as some form of a girl. Now that couldn't be indicative of anything whatsoever, right?
So even with all of this stuff, I didn't really trust my opinion, because I'm doubting of eveything. And I was lucky enough to find a test to help in determining if the person taking it is transgender. And completely unsurprising from all of this is the fact that I got solid "yeah, since you said you were male, this is pretty solidly transgender". Like the most female section started at 320 points and I got 325. And I repeated and kept on getting results in that area. And just for clarification, 0 isn't "not transgender", 0 is "gender neutral" and -320 is the most male area.
And I think the key kicker is that I've had some sort of body dysphoria for as long as I can remember. I had been justifying it for forever as like almost nobody is entirely happy with their body, so it's normal to have a feeling as if you don't belong in the body you have, right? And that's a no win scenario, because if that's not the case (which I'm pretty sure is the case now that I've been reflecting) well wow is that trans, and even if it is the case, most of my dysphoria I'm realising has been directed towards sexual characteristics. Like I thought the reason my penis made me feel so uncomfortable is because I'm asexual and anything down there seems wrong and unnecessary, but it's also applying to facial hair. Like, if I could just get rid of all of that, I'd do so in a heartbeat. You know the 'would you press the button' thing? If there was one that was "you won't grow any facial hair BUT you lose your genetalia", I'd slam the button as fast as I could and ask what the downside was.