>Try to find ham to go with the cake.



This does not strike you as a particularly appropriate time for ham.

>Cake: Inspect suspicious apparating celebratory dessert.



What's suspicious about Cake that spontaneously appears on your birthday? But really, you've given up on parsing this mystery years ago, and decided to, what's the phrase "Not look a gift-pony in the mouth"?

>It is delicious cake and you must eat it.



With what? Your hands?? Like some sort of peasant???



>>



Okay, but anyway... You still don't have any plates though, oh well.



>Cake: What if you went to the door, opened it, & walked down the stairs? Is that a thing within the realm of possibility?



Door? What door, you don't see any door?



Do you see any door?



No. No you don't. Just a portrait of some guy.

>>



Who even is this guy, you don't know. You don't think anyone knows.

>Check out your wardrobe.



Just a lovely little wardrobe filled with an eclectic assortment of lovely little dresses, not too little though, you're a dignified and proper young lady and you wouldn't be caught dead in something too risque.

>>



...or perhaps you would, oh-ho, who knows, this is a special occasion after all.

>Take a closer look at that mural, too



Oh this? It's a mural of the sky you painted when you were... 12? You were feeling particularly inspired that day, and incorporated some classic motifs. Or... at least... you assume they're classic, you read in a book they were classic.

>You must get to the highest level of fashion possible. Wear all the dresses at the same time.



This was a mistake
Oh... Woe to all who must suffer in the name of fashion.

>>



You're wearing this now...

>you're 22 and still living like a 12 year old. unacceptable. start tying all your things into a rope



oh wow rude



You already tried when you were 17 and going through "I hate everything" phase, you quickly realized you didn't have nearly enough things to reach the bottom... or even remotely part-way down.

>So if you're 22 years old according to the cake, but you've been in this tower for 16 years... What happened around age 6 that landed you here?



You don't entirely know, all you really recall is that your parents were rather... stressed, about what you don't know, but evidently they found it prudent to send you away to here, not that it really improves the situation.

>Who's the shadow princess?



It's a bit embarrassing actually, you see she was, your er... "imaginary friend"



When you were younger you were rather lonely, your parents were very busy doing monarch-y things, and all of the local children your age were... to put it delicately, rather poorly, in more ways than one.

>>



Not being the most creative of children, you took to imagining your own shadow was another person, remarkably similar to you, and sharing almost all your interests, etc.



She was your best friend, and you had many adventures and 'fun-times', and shared all sorts of embarassing and terrible secrets as only a small child can conceive.

>Climb into wardrobe and imagine it's a portal to another world.



Of course, you did eventually come to accept that she wasn't actually real, and the whole thing was rather silly, but even so, sometimes when your alone and in the dark you sometimes feel like there's someone with you, someone familiar, yet your fairly certain that's just you getting stir-crazy...

>>





Ohmygoshwhatthehe-

>>



Now what could that rather terrific crash be all about hmm?

>Gently say hi to your friend. If there's no one here, than you don't have to worry about being embarrassed by anyone hearing it!




>>



...Right....

>Maybe it's a beautiful horse that has come to rescue you
>It's a dashing horse riding on a magical prince come to rescue you



Oh yes, that certainly sounds plausible.

>Get out of there and see what fell. Hope to all that is good it wasn't your special horse statue.



Ohmygoodnes not your- wait.


You don't own a special horse statue... you don't think you even own a regular horse statue.
In fact, I dare say, I don't she's seen a single horse statue her entire life. I'm not convinced they exist.

>Cautiously peek out the wardrobe before exiting.



...


Ohmygoodness-

>>



There's a mysterious... person? in your room and you don't know how to deal with that.
Oh gosh.