Spoiler
By opening this spoiler, you have been TRICKED!

Tricked into seeing the TRUTH hidden from you by THE MAN.

He wants you to believe that people are just ORBS OF GENITALIA. But even cavemen* knew otherwise.

To make this easier on everyone I will play out this conversation with my Wheat-body-pillow. I don’t have any Wheat to fill it with, however, so instead I have filled it with straw.

Wheat: “The orbs in the 6 and 9 represent the area of the human body with the greatest amount of mass.”

Me: “You can’t just arbitrarily draw mass lines! Why not say the whole body is the bulky part? We have to base this in reality.

Look at this woman!



Her center of mass is at the pelvis! Right at all the good bits you’d want to get to. If we’re going by mass distribution then the connection between the dingly and the bulky is where the action's at.”

Wheat: “That makes it even less likely that the 'o' is the head then. “

Me: “I disagree, but that's not critical because mass is not what's important here. What else did you notice about that woman?”

Wheat: “She was not a bird.”

Me: “Her face. Human brains are wired to look at faces. They captivate our attention because they convey the vast majority of social cues that our ancestors HAD to understand in order to even get their six to the other’s 9.”

Wheat: “That is foolish. The art of sexy instructions requires emphasis on the genitals. Ancient fertility art is full of bulbous pleasure spheres.”

Me: “The sixty-nine is more than just a set of instructions. It’s a representation of two people. Even fertility symbols never reduced the face to a sliver. When people are drawn, the head is emphasized – often overemphasized. There is no ancient stick figure where the body is the circle and the head is minuscule**"

Wheat: "I concede your point and see no further recourse. I shall mend my ways."

Me: "Thank you lets all be friends."

*okay that maybe that one was drawn by a Native American in a cave and not technically a caveman.

**with the exception of the Lascax Birdman, one of the most ancient stickfigures ever discovered – and even that one takes the ‘sexytimes at the juncture’ route.”

Spoiler
No, you are not.

Spoiler<schazer> so out of curiosity Sanzh
<schazer> what kind of thing are you trying to lay a claim on exactly
<schazer> is it a meme
<schazer> are you trying to patent a meme
<TheBlueAvenger> You should patent a meme.
<sfou> glorious
<sfou> just slap a 2 million dollar lawsuit on anyone who posts a misspelled lolcat
<schazer> parody is a thing though
<Sanzh> "A method of increasing yield of active protein during translation of a protein from a source organism in a heterologous host by adjusting translation kinetics of mRNA encoding the protein"
<schazer> fuck ok lemme uh
<TheBlueAvenger> ...wow.
<Sanzh> lol
<schazer> go get coffee so I cna read that without my eyeballs sliding off it
<TheBlueAvenger> Like,
<Sanzh> ha ha welcome to my life
<Sanzh> at least I'm using my degree
<TheBlueAvenger> I know what those words mean individually
<TheBlueAvenger> but all together?
* TheBlueAvenger shakes her head grimly
<schazer> what is "active protein"
<schazer> is that like, enzymes, or stuff that does shit rather than being structural ,or
<Sanzh> it's like activated almonds
<schazer> lmao
<schazer> so best as I understand this
<Sanzh> https://www.google.com/patents/US20130149699
<schazer> this is micro-viagra for mRNA
<Sanzh> here's the application
<schazer> that makes it get jiggier with the ribosomes
<Sanzh> i think so
<Sanzh> it's made by the guy who discovered RNA interference
<schazer> so you get more activated almonds out of your amino acid soup
<Sanzh> i think it's like that, yeah
<schazer> is the viagra an actual chemical, or a training regime, or some kind of prayer
<sfou> you missed the part about hetrologous hosts
<sfou> and translation kinetics
<schazer> "translation kinetics" is to my understanding, the physical properties of the molecules that are involved in the translation process
<sfou> so like
<Sanzh> i'll be honest schazer
<Sanzh> i have no fuckin' idea
<sfou> throw the protein harder at the thing and it will eat more protein
<sfou> it's basically like a nourishment bullet
<schazer> wherein translation is where you feed a strand of mRNA (butt or face) through a ribosome (photocopier) which uses those instructions to join up a specific chain of amino acids (2 dimensional rendition of butt or face) which then becomes folded into a protein (paper airplane)
<sfou> a device to fire high-velocity nourishment bullets
<sfou> the hunger-sniper
<schazer> this is my high quality science metaphor
<schazer> I'm laying a claim on this shit do not steal
<schazer> so translation kinetics is like, maybe, in this case, a stool
<schazer> so it's easier to get on and off the photocopier safely
<sfou> wait
<sfou> doesn't it just mean that you slam your face or butt harder at the photocopier
<sfou> or like, just adjust the speed and angle
<schazer> no, because that'll damage the mRNA
<schazer> I really think this is some kind of stepladder he's invented
<schazer> or maybe handrails to hold onto
<sfou> like gently rub your buttcheeks against the glass without squishing them so that you get a good 3D image rather than an inferior squished copy
<schazer> I dunno, I think part of the charm of photocopying your face/butt is to get the squished look
<schazer> like if you wanted an accurate rendition you should just take a photo
<sfou> but then you wouldn't need the handles you could just sit on the thing
<sfou> and there's no need for a patent
<schazer> no, this is about making the copying process easier
<schazer> it's already possible, but we've invented a thing to make it more efficient
<sfou> ahh! i get ya.
<schazer> so, a stepladder/stool so you can get on and off the photocopier easier
<schazer> so you can hit the controls to actually print it properly
<sfou> beautiful
<schazer> Sanzh how many standard amino acids out of 20 do you give my explanation
<sfou> brb
<schazer> oh ok! I just looked up what heterologous hosts are
<schazer> they are cells that are producing a mRNA sequence->amino acid sequence->protein that it normally wouldn't
<schazer> so someone's genetically engineered the thing so it has this "foreign" DNA in it
<schazer> a fantastic example is E. coli producing insulin
<Sanzh> i'm gonna go grab dinner
<Sanzh> see you guys later :>
<schazer> Sanzh no
<schazer> wait
<schazer> tell me how good my science is
<Sanzh> iunno
<schazer> aw
<Sanzh> i'd say like maybe an aspartic acid out of 20
<schazer> woooooooo
← Sanzh has quit (Quit: https://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)

SpoilerThe card was Gharials.