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+---- Thread: Super Otaku Brawl - Round One: Traverse Town (/showthread.php?tid=827)
Super Otaku Brawl - Round One: Traverse Town - Ixcaliber - 06-22-2014
The Plagiarist loved grand battles; the only problem was that he never had any good ideas for who to get to fight them. One day whilst playing videogames he hit across the perfect idea; he'd just use pre-existing characters forcefully torn from all his favourite videogames/cartoons/comic books/mangas/books/whatever he wanted basically.
Yeah this was gonna be great.
Like the Otaku Melee before it this is a Grand Battle for non-original characters. You can enter any character from any form of media so long as they are not your own original creation.
There are a couple of other differences from other grand battles as well. The first of which being that there is no real host, because we're unlikely to get far enough that having an actual host will matter we'll just sort of wing it. In terms of functional differences all it means is that in the profile there's an extra field: Suggested Round Location. When we're starting the battle we'll pick one at random or whichever we like best.
There's also a 300 word limit on post size because elpie said so. NOTE: 300 word limit for the battle itself you don't necessarily have to stick to it for profiles.
So here's the profile thing.
Username: Who the flipping heck are you
Name: Actually you know what I'm not explaining this thing. If you don't know how profiles work by now then I really cannot help you.
Gender:
Species:
Text Colour:
Description:
Items/Abilities:
Biography:
Suggested Round Location: Oh actually worth noting that like anything else in this battle the round location should ideally be taken from something else.
Have fun.
I'm going to go and sit in the corner and regret my actions.
PLAYERLIST (see Slorange's post for details):
This Thread:
1: Tobias (Garuru)
2: Bully Demise (MrGuy)
3: Anger Crabman (Dalmationer)
4: Nancy Little (SleepingOrange)
5: Jane Doe (SupahKiven)
6: Jim (Not The Author)
7: Alenia (Dragon Fogel)
8: Thanos (elpie)
9:
∞:
Slorange's Thread:
1: Jack Spicer (Ixcaliber)
2: The Clown (Masterblade)
3: Rayquaza (Schazer)
4: Starscream (seedy)
5: Shadow the Hedgehog (Solaris)
6: Willy Wonka (AgentBlue)
7: Shrek (bigro)
8: Wolfgang (cyber95)
9: Charles Barkley (Mirdini)
∞:
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Ixcaliber - 06-22-2014
Name: Jack Spicer
Gender: Evil Boy
Species: Genius
Text Colour: or this colour whatevs
Description: Jack's about fourteen, pale grey skin, bright red spiky hair, oversized goggles permanently attached to his forehead, long black tattered coat and too much mascara. Jack's a genius when it comes to robots, but in most other respects he's a bit of an idiot. He's overconfident to the point of obnoxiousness, but this quickly turns into pitiful pleadings for mercy when something almost inevitably backfires upon him. He's also determined to rule the world and will do almost anything to achieve his goal.
Items/Abilities: He's pretty good at making robots, even if his robots are generally more effective as domestic servants and substitutes for actual friends than they are as actual fighting machines. He also has a couple of shen gong wu (magical artefact thingies) in his backpack.
Biography: It is a mystery.
Suggested Round Location: Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp.
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Schazer - 06-22-2014
Username: And you are? Are you a boy? Or are you a girl?
Name: Rayquaza
Gender: Genderless
Species: Sky High
Text Colour: Tealish with occasional yell-o's
Description: Rayquaza is a large, green, serpentine creature. It has red-tipped, rudder-like wings on its shoulders and down its body, and similarly patterned fins on the tip of its tail. Yellow ring-like symbols run across the length of Rayquaza's body and it has an additional yellow ring on top of its head. Rayquaza has two limbs with three-clawed hands, and two long, flat, horn-like structures on its head. It has small, yellow eyes with black pupils, prominent pink gums, and two discernible fangs in its upper jaw. It is able to soothe the other members of the weather trio. Rayquaza can live for hundreds of millions of years in the ozone layer, where it feeds on water and other particles. Rayquaza is rarely seen by people; even in flight, its appearance is indistinguishable from that of a meteor.
Items/Abilities: Life Orb/Air Lock
Biography: In the anime; in the manga; in the TCG; other appearances
Suggested Round Location: Waluigi Pinball
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - MasterBlade - 06-22-2014
![[Image: Generic_clown.png]](https://wiki.ss13.eu/images/1/11/Generic_clown.png)
Username: MasterBladeName: The ClownGender: MaleSpecies: HumanText Colour: Bananium YellowDescription: An odd-looking bald man dressed in a very clownish outfit consisting of a Clown Mask, striped shirt, large red pants and shoes. His backpack, Giggles Von Honkington, is green and bears a signature harlequin face on the front. His movements are marked by the sound of honking from his shoes, and is usually followed by a banana peel or two occasionally left behind.Items/Abilities: While only usually carrying Banana Peels, Horns, and Crayons into battle, the Clown has an uncanny ability to turn anything in his environment into a tool of mass destruction. Anything except actual weapons, which seems to both figuratively and literally explode in his face upon use.Biography: In deep space, no one can hear you honk. Staffed as an entertainer aboard the Nanotrasen Space Station 13 Facility, the Clown is anything but funny. Capable of literally anything, he is a master of utilizing the few resources he has into causing maximum hilarity/destruction. Many a story have been told of clown who stole all the lockers in a station to build legendary cities of steel. Others tell of clowns who defeated enemy insurgents using only a banana peel, cable coils, and a bottle of cleaner. Whatever the case, this mysterious man is not the kind of person you want to be your enemy.Suggested Round Location: Whispering Oaks Amusement Park- A carnival-style amusement park seated in the heart of Georgia. The place has attractions, rides, and foods for all ages, and is well known for hosting great bands like the Midnight Riders. It was the most popular family attraction in the entire state... at least until the Zombie Outbreak started...Theme Songs:RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Gatr - 06-22-2014
Username: Garuru
Name: Tobias
Gender: Male
Species: It's Complicated
Text Colour: #993333
Description: Tobias is a hawk! A red-tailed one to be exact. Well, technically Tobias was born as a human, but later got the power to morph into any animal, and subsequently got stuck in a hawk's body, then given the power to morph again while still in a hawk's body. He has had difficulty embracing his life as a hawk, but it is something he will have to accept. His human body is blond and kind of meek-looking, so his current fierce appearance is at odds with his personality. He was always the loner who got bullied at school, and his home situation was not excellent, so he seemed like the happiest to be a part of the Animorphs (a group of 6 people who all can morph into animals), despite all the danger, because it gave him a purpose to live. As such, he was the first one to embrace morphing. He is normally naive and optimistic, but his life as a hawk has helped him to realize some truths as well.
Items/Abilities: As an Animorph, Tobias has the capability of morphing in any animal he encounters. To be more exact, he acquires their DNA through touching them, which puts them in a trance. Then, he can morph into them at any time, but the process is lengthy and rather disgusting to watch, but painless. Furthermore, he can only be in a morph for up to two hours. Any further, and he gets stuck in that morph. In fact, that happened to him already, leaving him stuck in a hawk's body, but because of SHENANIGANS, he regained the power to morph, but the hawk body is still his default body. He's gotten used to it, anyways. Also, he can use thought-speak while in morph. His morphs include his human body, his cat, a polar bear, a Hork-Bajir (tall lizardman covered in blades), a house fly, and many more. However, he doesn't morph as often as his comrades, preferring to act as mission control while flying around in the skies above the scene.
Biography: Growing up with his neglectful aunt and uncle, he was always alone. Bullied at school, and abandoned by the world, his life had no meaning. That is, until he ran into his friend, Jake, and they walked through a construction site together on the way back from school. There, an alien spaceship crashed, and an Andalite (blue deer-ish centaur with no mouth) came out, severely injured and begging for help. The group came to him, and the Andalite gave them the power to morph into any animal they touch, with a few caveats. Tobias was the most attached to this alien, talking to him in the last moments in his life. Then another alien came and killed this Andalite, then they became the only resistance against a species of aliens called the Yeerks, which are slugs that enter a body and control it from within. Tobias was the first to embrace morphing, and was the only one genuinely excited about fighting an intergalactic war. But then he got stuck in a hawk's body, and became useless as a fighter, until SHENANIGANS, then he got the power to morph back.
Suggested Location: The Collector Base.
A massive spaceship with both organic and mechanical parts. The Collectors are aliens who harvest humans and use their genetic material to... well, to do something. It's a mystery why. The ship consists of a huge central chamber with millions of pods, containing humans in every one of them, and several branching paths with some clearings that provide convenient cover for shooting. There are floating platforms in the central chamber that occasionally connect to each other. Some of the humans in the central chamber are alive, but most are dead. There are some guns scattered here and there (think scifi laser guns). The ship appears empty at first, but the Collectors will swarm you if you cause trouble. The Collectors, incidentally, are insect-like humanoids, and they don't really talk. But Harbinger, a Reaper, will occasionally possess one of them, and shout hammy taunting lines at you in all caps. Also there are seeker swarms here and there. Seekers are insects the size of your fist that will paralyze you if you get stung. So, y'know, good luck.
(this profile used to be another character, which was the one that credit below was rooting for.)
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - ICan'tGiveCredit - 06-22-2014
I am personally rooting for and sponsoring this app^^^
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Elpie - 06-22-2014
Username: melps
Name: THANOS, THE MAD TITAN
Gender: Male
Species: Titan
Text Colour: Straight up purple
Description: Thanos is a purple-skinned, armored, exceedingly buff alien about... ten feet in height? Here:
![[Image: rgfSj.jpg]](https://i.snag.gy/rgfSj.jpg)
Alignment-wise, Thanos isn't usually defined as "evil," but always as "dangerous." He ruthlessly pursues his own goals, but those goals are usually driven more by curiosity or boredom than a genuine wish to see them through. Many of his defeats have been attributed to a subconscious urge to self-sabotage so that he can move on to the next stage of his life. He is cosmic tinkerer, a lost soul in search of a destiny worthy of his indomitable nature.
That or he's just evil, cruel, and murderous, and everything else is just an excuse. No one seems to be quite sure. Further confusing the issue, many of Thanos' actions have been retrospectively attributed to copycats, clones or robot duplicates.
If you feel safe around Thanos even for a second, you're an idiot. He's not the most powerful entity in the universe, nor is he the cleverest, nor is he the most unpredictable. But he is each of these things in spades, and that is a frightening combination.
Items/Abilities: The Plagiarist let Thanos let his awesome floating chair thing (pictured above), because it's awesome.
Other than that, it's tough to tell where Thanos' natural powers end and his technology begins. He's an expert long-range blind teleporter, he emits a Susan-Richards-level personal force field, and can project cosmic-strength energy. His raw physical strength has at times been shown to approach 1.0 Hulks. The exact power source of these abilities is unknown.
Biography: Born on the paradaisical moon of Titan, Thanos could not achieve his destiny until he reinvented murder on a world where such an act was unheard of. Once he escaped the nest, he was not long to make powerful enemies, such as: the legendary Kree hero Mar-Vell; Silver Surfer, sometime herald of Galactus and wielder of the power cosmic; and Adam Warlock, master of the Soul Gem.
Thanos eventually met, and fell in love with, the cosmic personification of Death, and in an attempt to please her killed half the population of the universe with the omnipotent Infinity Gauntlet. This action was eventually undone, and Thanos and Death had a falling-out. The Infinity Gauntlet affair solidified Thanos' reputation as one of the most volatile entities in the universe, but he continually escaped the arms of his former lover and proved valuable in combating various other universe-level threats.
Most beings or civilizations with the potential power to defeat Thanos consider it safer to ignore him and hope he gets distracted somewhere else. Most recently, Thanos and his Black Guard invaded the Earth (yet again) in an attempt to kill Thanos' son, Thane. Unfortunately for Thanos, Thane underwent a terrigenetic transformation and activated a power set that trapped Thanos in some sort of amber. Thanos was then imprisoned by the Illuminati -- the secret super-kings of the Earth -- in the hope that he might be of some use later.
![[Image: F0JnN.jpg]](https://i.snag.gy/F0JnN.jpg)
Suggested Round Location: Traverse Town
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - seedy - 06-22-2014
Username: seedy
Name: Starscream
Gender: Male
Species: Cybertronian
Text Colour: Decepticon Purple
Description: Of average size for a cybertronian, Starscream is roughly 10x the size of humans and about the mass and weight of an F-15. He's covered in a garish primary color scheme. His sneaky little face is grey and his eyes are red.
Personalitywise, he's ambitious and somewhat charismatic. He craves power but doesn't really know what to do with it once he has it, and is pretty goddamn used to failure. Not surprising, since he usually gets there through treachery and plots rather than merit. This habit of backstabbing means he's used to being hated, so he doesn't take anything less than a serious murder attempt as a reason to stop being friendly towards someone. He's just used to it at this point.
Starscream is an opportunist with a moral code. He genuinely can't understand why other people aren't willing to do the things he does to achieve their goals. Self-sacrifice is beyond his ken, and he functions best when dealing with people who are just as slimy as he is. At least he knows where he stands with them.
Items/Abilities: As second in command of the Decepticons, Starscream has eons of combat experience. He can transform into a jet. His primary weapons are the guns on his forearm, which fire his signature null rays (beams able to temporarily stop electronics) or regular ol' explosion-causing beams. He also has some knowledge of science, as that was his profession before the war.
As a character in a series owned by Hasbro/Takara Tomy and created To Sell Toys, he has functional immortality as long as his toys are selling. Which they usually are.
Biography: Once a scientist, he was recruited into the Decepticons by Megatron in his war to overthrow the oppressive government of Cybertron. Revolution turned into a bloody and protracted civil war, and the ambitious Starscream decided he could do a better job running things than Megatron. Defined by his constant treachery, Starscream is a wannabe who just never got it right. He schemes, cajoles, and begs for mercy when necessary, all with a distinct lack of shame. He'd genuinely prefer a peaceful and fair world...he's just determined to be the head of it and doesn't care what he has to do to get there.
Continuity: NOT BAYVERSE. Nothing to do with Michael Bay's continuity. This Starscream, not this Starscream.
Suggested Round Location: Thriller Bark from One Piece
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - MaxieSatan - 06-22-2014
Username: guym'nman
Name: Bully Demise
Gender: Wrestleman
Species: Wrestleman
Text Colour: Maskhaver Gray #777777
Description: Bully Demise is a giant among men; though only 16 years old, he stands eight feet tall with considerable shoulder span and generally well-defined musculature. He has a light tan, and a full head of unkempt dark brown hair (though it cannot be seen beneath his masks). For his costume in the ring, Bully wears a garish mishmash that's hard to do justice to. He wears two masks, an oversized and helmet-like gray one stretched over a smaller black one (what can be seen of the latter resembles a beard and face paint); a pink shirt and strangely-patterned pink-and-purple shorts; matching white wristbands as well as a larger red armband; kneepads, the lower third of a black pant leg and a black tennis shoe on his right leg, and a white boot on his left leg.
Bully is a pious and humble man, but one who has never made the best decisions. He tends to be both literal-minded and impulsive, which frequently causes him trouble; furthermore, he has a stubborn streak that rarely helps. What he is excellent at, however, his true passion in life, is fighting, which boils his blood and excites him more than anything else in the world. He misses being able to shoot fire from his hands, but he'll manage.
Items/Abilities: Bully has exercised many abilities in the past, ranging from the simple act of carpentry to powerful magic, both demonic and divine. For the most part, though, he sticks to his unique brand of wrestling, based on two focal points: his extremely powerful, and allegedly cursed, sword, and his signature technique known only as "The Stomps." With these two, and his knowledge of various holds, throws and punches, he's definitely a man to be feared.
Biography: At the tender age of 16, the man who would become Bully Demise dropped out of high school and joined Wrestling School, a small company designed to train up-and-comers and get them signed with a company of their choice. Unfortunately for Bully, he and his corrupt manager didn't see eye-to-eye, and when he was finally offered a contract he found that his pen would not work.
Not long thereafter, Bully fell into financial difficulty, which only became worse when - having forgotten to fill out and mail the forms - he was arrested for tax evasion. After several weeks at an experimental hyper-brutal prison, he made an escape attempt which, while successful at first, ended in his death.
At that point, Bully (apparently thrust back in time by a couple thousand years) became a disciple of Jesus of Nazareth, was crucified alongside him (for unrelated crimes), woke up again on a desert island, and after slaughtering basically all life on the island, burst forth from the very pits of hell to join the WWE - but it would seem that his travels have not yet ended.
Suggested Round Location: The Mojave Wasteland
Theme Song:
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Solaris - 06-22-2014
Username: Scipio the he-
Name: the Hedgehog, Shadow
Gender: furry
Species: Shadow The Hedgehog, A Hedgehog
Text Color: this red, #611D08
Description: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AYFk91_HtQ&feature=kp
Items/Abilities: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kTBbTSjZpI
Biography: Fifty years ago and some change, on the SPACE COLONY ARK, Professor Gerald Robotnik a single father scientist was commissioned to create THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM, and immortal being that would never age and could never die, a project he agreed to in hopes of curing his terminally ill granddaugther, Maria Robotnik. Unable to progress very far, the professor called upon some help in the form of Black Doom, the leader of an alien race known as the Black Arms, and who definitely give an aura of friendly-ness. Regardless of the intentions, with Black Doom's DNA and research on the Chaos Emeralds, Robotnik was able to create the BIOLIZARD, a prototype, and later, Shadow The Hedgehog.
Shadow the Hedgehog came to befriend Maria, the two caring very much for each other, in a sibling kind of way, despite what some fandom scholars will say, but that friendship would not last, as the military force known as G.U.N. had discovered that Robotnik was in cahoots with an alien warlord and decided that it was time to shut the project down. In what a horrific feat of American Power and Fear, G.U.N. invaded the SPACE COLONY ARK and murdered everyone on board, except for the Professor, the BIOLIZARD which they could not kill, and Shadow the Hedgehog, who had been tricked by Maria into an Escape Pod, who also had to watch her get shot at as she told him that it was ok because she was going to die anyway and that she wanted him to have a happy life on Earth, something she couldn't have, and that the people there also deserved to be happy.
With everyone on the ARK dead, G.U.N. retrieved Shadow's Escape Pod, and shipped it and Gerald into PRISON ISLAND! Through some means, the Very Competent Military Force allowed a grief ridden Gerald to access Shadow, through which Gerald altered Shadow's memeories to think that Maria wanted him to kill everything and to also know How To Kill Everything.
Fast-Forward fifty years and Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik just strolls into Prison Island to see what sort of shit his Grandfather, the Professor, was up to. Turns out, it was Shadow, who agreed to aid Eggman in Woooooooorld Domination, when in reality, Shadow planned to use Eggman to get the chaos emeralds and destroy the planet. The pair, along with Rouge the Bat a jewel thief who was actually a secret agent, went to work collecting the chaos emeralds, running into Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles and sometimes Amy, all trying to stop them. After collecting six of the seven Emeralds, Eggman blew up the moon to show that he meant business.
Sonic and company, through a series of mishaps, joined Shadow, Eggman, and Rouge on the SPACE COLONY ARK, which by the way has a giant space laser, thats how Eggman shot the moon, I forgot to mention, with a plan to jam the Eclipse Canon (thats the name of the canon) with a fake Chaos Emerald. As Sonic was about to give Eggman the false emerald, he was trapped, and sent to his seemingly inescapable death, at which point Tails beat the shit out of Eggman before he escaped and Shadow commented on how much of a beta Sonic was. Right after, Shadow caught Rouge being a spy, who revealed that his memeories were fake, and that the BIOLIZARD was the real Ultimate Lifeform. At the same time, Eggman said that someone was heading for the Eclipse Canon and that Shadow needed to get whoever it was. IT WAS SONIC, HE WAS NOT DEAD, HE USED CHAOS CONTROL, OOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD, Shadow is impressed, but regardless decides that Sonic, the Fake Hedgehog, needs to go back to being dead. After a sick rival fight on a collapsing Bridgeway, Eggman inserts the final chaos emerald and unknowingly initiating Professor Gerald Robotnik's final plan, the destabilization of the ARK. While Sonic, Eggman, Rouge, Tails and Knuckles made their way into the Core of the Eclipse Cannon in hopes of re-stablizating the ARK before it crashed into the planet, Amy and Shadow began to speak, leading Shadow to realize that Maria wanted Shadow and humanity to be happy and not dead. While Sonic and Knuckles tried to deactivate the Chaos Emeralds with the Master Emerald, Shadow fought the newly reactivated BIOLIZARD, who he soundly defeated, proving that he was indeed the Ultimate Lifeform.
Then BIOLIZARD got prissy, chaos controlled itself to fuse with the ARK, and re-started crashing towards the Earth. Sonic and Shadow then used the seven chaos emeralds to turn Super. With the power of the seven chaos emeralds, they destroyed the BIOLIZARD and put the ARK back in orbit, saving the day. However, in the process, Shadow fell to the Earth, presumed dead by all...
However, the reality was that Dr. Eggman found Shadow and once again put him in stasis, opting to also make androids in his image. Eventually, Rouge the Bat found Shadow, along with the final E Series robot, E-123 OMEGA. The three of them went off to find Eggman, find out what happened to Shadow, and get revenge. As Shadow had amnesia, he did not recognize Rouge, nor any of the other miscellaneous characters they met on this journey, like Sonic, who he once again insisted was a Fake Hedgehog. After fighting and defeating Metal Sonic, E-123 OMEGA and Shadow depart with his body, three unlikely souls united in their being used by Eggman.
A while later, Shadow meets Rouge once again while she is investigating a robot named EMERL, who is similar to Shadow, in that it is also a creation of Gerald Robotnik that was appropriated by the military. Eventually it helps Shadow realize that maybe he could help humanity as per Maria's wishes even if he was goaded into evil...
And speaking of being goaded into evil, cue the re-entrance of Black Doom. The alien warlord descended onto Earth on the Black Comet and told Shadow that if he got the seven chaos emeralds and brought them to him, he would reveal the truth. Shadow did so and learned of the deal that Black Doom had made with Gerald, and how Black Doom planned to use the Chaos Emeralds to rule the universe, with Shadow, his genetic son by his side. Despite not knowing who he is, Shadow decided to fight against Black Doom, using the Chaos Emeralds himself to fight Devil Doom (Black Doom's powered up form) and then using the Eclipse Canon to blow up the Black Comet, ending the threat of the Black Arms for good.
After saving the world, Eggman told Shadow that after he fell down into Earth the first time, he sent one of his robots to find him. Aware that not only is he the one and only real Shadow, but also that he's completely capable of being good, Shadow decided to take a vacation to Venice, where instead of having a good time and relaxing, he had to deal with Mephiles the Dark, who was sealed inside the Scepter of Darkness, and released himself when Shadow arrived, taking a form similar to his. Wanting to destroy the world and not wanting to have a bunch of furries fucking that up, Mephiles sent Shadow and Rouge to the future, where they saw that Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles also were. They split up to find some Chaos Emeralds the only way to return to their own time. On the way, they find OMEGA, deactivated and on Stasis Mode. They sadly leave him and then meet back up with Sonic, to get the other Chaos Emerald, when they meet and fight Iblis, some apocalyptic looking ass creature. After their victory, they make a time hole into the present, but Shadow stays behind, noticing Mephiles lurking around.
In the pursuit and fight that follows, Mephiles reveals that he took Shadows for so that when he caused the apocalypse, it would look like Shadow caused it, he then asked Shadow to join him in apocalypse causing to which Shadow replied with more fighting, knowing who he was and being in charge of his own destiny. As Shadow began to lose his edge, OMEGA activated and joined Shadow, the two of them being more than a match for Mephiles. He then returned to the present, went after Eggman to get answers about Mephiles, and met Silver as he was trying to murder Sonic. In the fight that ensued, Silver and Shadow time traveled ten years into the past, where they came upon the Solaris Project. They witnessed the birth of Iblis and Mephiles, and they split up to find them, the Duke of Venice giving Shadow the Scepter of Darkness to seal Mephiles in, before he passed away. Shadow perused and sealed Mephiles in the Scepter of Darkness and then traveled back to the present so he could stop Mephiles before the future happened.
Back in the present, Shadow and Rouge got to work on trying to get a replacement Scepter of Darkness to seal Mephiles in, leading them to race towards a Venician Pyramid before Mephiles could get a Chaos Emerald, combine with Iblis, and become Solaris. While they succeeded in repelling Mephiles, he used trickery to get the Chaos Emerald, causing Shadow to remove his power limiting rings and destroy a bunch of Mephiles Clones. While that served to hamper his plans, Mephiles still managed to fuse with Iblis, become Solaris and also kill sonic, causing Shadow, Amy, Silver, Knuckles, Eggman, Tails, Rouge, and Omega to find the seven Chaos Emeralds to revive sonic and to make Shadow, Silver and Sonic go super and defeat Solaris in the Past, Present, and Future erasing him from history.
Which they did, causing Shadow to have gone on vacation as if the entire thing never happened. Shadow went on to compete in Air Skateboard Races, Kart Racing, Tennis, and the Olympics, where he was invited to be an Assist Trophy in Smash Bros by Mario. Sometimes he LARPS as Sir Lancelot.
Suggested Round Location: February 2005, Alaska's Fox Archipelago, Shadow Moses Island
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Dalmationer - 06-22-2014
Username: Dalm
Name: Anger Crabman
Gender: male
Species: Trol, ancient immortal
Text Color: Heavy with the weight of ages....
Description:
![[Image: cg.png]](https://www.majhost.com/gallery/LtFish/Sprites/cg.png)
Items/Abilities: Anger Crabman has a cyclical dependency with the universe. Neither can die while the other lives.
He can shoot a powerful laser from his eyes sometimes, but usually he doesn't.
He has a solomon brickane, which is half cane, half brick, half Solomon Kane. He only uses it like once then we forgot about it.
He's very boring.
Biography:
![[Image: GSFmA.png]](https://i.imgur.com/GSFmA.png)
Your name is Anger Crabman, and you are SOOOOOOO OLLLLLD.
You are currently enjoying your retirement in TROLL MIAMI BEACH, a beautiful and populous area of the smallest state in the Troll United States of Troll, Troll Florida. You enjoy DAYTIME TELEVISION, particularly game shows, reading about current MILITARY CONQUESTS, and DANCING on every second Perigee. You live alone, as your beloved Lusus up and died centuries ago, though she is never far from you thanks to the wonders of TAXIDERMY.
Your life has been absurdly long, yet somehow uninteresting. You are easily the oldest troll in existence, having survived since before the dawn of recorded history. You possess the ability to recover from any injury instantaneously, though it has only managed to slow your natural aging process. You have been present throughout most of your species' history, though you choose to remain largely uninvolved. You mostly roamed the planet, deliberately avoiding the constant CALL OF ADVENTURE. Dispite being a HATED MUTANT, you managed to pull off a moderately successful military career in the Golden Age of Alternia, before being compelled to retire. The pension gleaned for a whopping 800 sweeps worth of service as a CULINECROMANCER is more than enough to sustain your indefinite relaxation, and you contribute most of it to charity.
Your trolltag is calypsoGeriatric, and yer not abouta let somethin astupid asyntax get inth wayayer message
You are currently enjoying your retirement in TROLL MIAMI BEACH, a beautiful and populous area of the smallest state in the Troll United States of Troll, Troll Florida. You enjoy DAYTIME TELEVISION, particularly game shows, reading about current MILITARY CONQUESTS, and DANCING on every second Perigee. You live alone, as your beloved Lusus up and died centuries ago, though she is never far from you thanks to the wonders of TAXIDERMY.
Your life has been absurdly long, yet somehow uninteresting. You are easily the oldest troll in existence, having survived since before the dawn of recorded history. You possess the ability to recover from any injury instantaneously, though it has only managed to slow your natural aging process. You have been present throughout most of your species' history, though you choose to remain largely uninvolved. You mostly roamed the planet, deliberately avoiding the constant CALL OF ADVENTURE. Dispite being a HATED MUTANT, you managed to pull off a moderately successful military career in the Golden Age of Alternia, before being compelled to retire. The pension gleaned for a whopping 800 sweeps worth of service as a CULINECROMANCER is more than enough to sustain your indefinite relaxation, and you contribute most of it to charity.
Your trolltag is calypsoGeriatric, and yer not abouta let somethin astupid asyntax get inth wayayer message
Anger Crabman is the oldest sentient being in the universe. He is also probably the most boring sentient being in the universe. As of the 5th 6th Trolternian Empire in IVthVIthTSE 188, Crabman spends most of his days in his condo in Trol Miami, which is a district in the Great City of Trol China. Soon, he would take part in a great adventure upon which the fate of the universe would rest. For now, though, he rests. He watches boners and whittles away the hours. Then, during the seasson finale of the 63rd series, he spontaneously vanished.
Whether Crabman's cyclical dependency will affect the battle is hard to say. He and the universe are inextricably tied together. If one is pulled from the continuity, will the other eventually follow?
Suggested round: The Soup House.
A very Normal house in a very Normal forest. Contains soup and other delicious food.
EDIT: I HAVE BEEN CALLED OUT ON HOW THIS IS MY CHARACTER, BUT IT IS NOT. ANGER CRABMAN WAS THE RESULT OF DIVINE INSPIRATION AND ALSO WAS MADE BY LTFISH ANYWAY.
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - SleepingOrange - 06-22-2014
Username: SleepeenOrange
Name: Nancy Little
Gender: Female
Race: Human, in the 1920’s
Color: #28285F
Equipment/Abilities: Nancy’s only weapon is a Smith & Wesson model 60 Lady Smith Revolver. It’s a bit of a pea-shooter, but it fits nicely in her purse. Nancy is convinced that just by owning this item her life is at least 500 times more exciting. (It’s not.) She is also never seen without her most prized possession: a robin’s egg blue Remington-Rand Portable No.3 typewriter. Though it was issued to her from work and technically not her’s, Nancy carries it with her everywhere. She has already constructed an unnecessarily overly-complicated plan to steal it from the police station should she ever lose her position there and be asked to give it back.
As far as abilities go, Nancy displays most of the attributes necessary for someone who works as a secretary. She is very organized, types quickly, efficient when doing paperwork, and can get around in heels without tripping. This position as a secretary was also what granted Nancy her one and only supernatural talent.
Nancy earned the favor of the deity of fortune, more commonly known as Lady Luck, when she “accidentally” lost the file on the goddess’s extensive pileup of overdue parking tickets. Out of gratitude Lady Luck blessed Nancy with otherworldly good fortune. This gift has made Nancy the luckiest person to ever live. Things just always seem to go her way. She wins every lottery, aces every interview, dodges every bullet, makes every shot, and stumbles upon every possible good opportunity imaginable. Nancy’s life has the capacity to be unbelievably exciting, enriched, and full of everything she could ever wish for.
Description: …But it’s not. Nancy doesn’t buy lottery tickets. She doesn’t interview for new jobs. She never does anything exciting enough that would cause her to be shot at or to be shooting and, worst of all; she watches every opportunity thrown her way pass by with a vague disinterest. She exists in a state of limitless potential, but her own inaction and lack of confidence in her own abilities has ensured that she is going nowhere fast.
It isn’t that Nancy doesn’t want to do anything with her life. On the contrary, she dreams very big! What Nancy really craves in life is ADVENTURES! Despite her rather droll lifestyle, Nancy dreams of being a detective, sleuthing cases in grimy back-alleys and bringing down the most hard boiled of criminals. Gosh, now that would just be the bee’s knees! Unfortunately she doesn’t have the nerve to pursue this goal, and so she settles for doing absolutely nothing instead. Nancy finds herself to be untalented, boring, and overall incapable of accomplishing all of the things she fantasizes of doing. She is the very definition of unmotivated and, as a result, her life has become very static and fallow. Her head is filled with fantasies of what could be, but until she learns to respect herself and her capabilities they will stay just that: dreams.
Physically, Nancy is pretty in a plain, uninteresting sort of way. Her skin is fairly pale and short blonde hair frames her face in a mess of unruly curls. She has the kind of face that doesn’t just get lost in crowds; it drowns in them. She is truly unmemorable and average in every way. She generally dresses fairly formally because of her job with a neat blouse, below-the-knees skirt, and heels.
Her upper body strength is above average for a tiny police secretary due to her hobby of lifting weights. It is just so scandalous she can barely stand it! But, a gal’s gotta do what she loves. This practice is only done, of course, within the privacy of her apartment with all the shades down. If asked about her unusual amount of muscles Nancy claims it’s from hauling her heavy metal typewriter around all day.
Biography: Nancy is a police secretary living in New York City around 1920. She does a lot of busywork like filing reports, dealing with people who come in to the station, answering the phone, and any other odd, but simple, jobs that need taking care of. It’s tedious work, but comfortable and safe, so she is more or less satisfied with it.
Nancy has indeed classified most of her life as being tedious. She never left the city she grew up in and has never had a job that didn’t involve her sitting at a desk all day doing boring paperwork. In fact, there was only one thing Nancy has ever considered worthwhile in her life and that was Henrik. By society’s standards he was nothing special, but Nancy adored him. He also worked at the police station as a regular officer, and from the moment they met two got on famously. While Nancy’s friends and family discouraged her tendency to daydream about the fantastic, Henrik loved it. While he told her stories about what he got up onto while on the job, Nancy amused him with her own made-up adventures and fairytales. While many found Nancy’s wild imagination to be improper and strange, Henrik encouraged every aspect of it as much as he could. So maybe she couldn’t be a detective like she wanted, but what was stopping her from making her life more exciting in other ways? Henrik drew Nancy out of the colorless, dreary world she had been locked into and tried his best to let her dreams flourish. The two did everything together and it was no surprise to anyone when he decided to propose to her
Henrik had many admirable qualities, but luck was not one of them. Shortly after entering the jewelry store he picked to purchase an engagement ring, the place was robbed. Henrik was no coward. Despite being off duty, after the burglar fled the shop he pursued him down the street.
…Later that day, Nancy was told what happened. Henrik had died before he even hit the ground from a bullet to the heart. She supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised. When you worked as a policeman you tended to do dangerous things, such as chasing a man who robbed a jewelry store and subsequently getting shot by him. She didn’t even know why Henrik was in the store in the first place, oblivious to his plans, but she was heartbroken nonetheless.
If Nancy was considering seeking her dreams before, she certainly wasn’t going to now. The image of Henrik’s casket haunted her like a waking nightmare. Sure, having her way and going on adventures did sound exciting, but now it also seemed incomprehensibly dangerous. A world Nancy previously viewed as full of potential and thrilling things to discover now seemed dark and terrifying. She grew to fear the notion of doing anything out of the ordinary and settled in for a life of being exactly what she loathed: boring.
Suggested Round: The Misty Swamp. Again. Forever.
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - SupahKiven - 06-22-2014
Username: Kiven, Kiven, Kiven
Name: Jane Doe
Gender: Male
Species: American
Text Colour: HE WORKS FOR THE RED TEAM
Description: A tall and muscular American man. He's got tannish skin from being outside all the time, as well as a rather amazing five o'clock shadow. He wears a dark brown helmet that normally covers his eyes,as well as a red army jacket with yellow emblems of a rocket on the shoulders. There's a bandoleer with two grenades on it slung over his shoulder. Also has army pants the same color as his helmet and boots reinforced with metal.
Items/Abilities: Carries a rocket launcher and a shotgun. Also has a backpack with a dented horn and a yellow battle standard flag in it. Has a folding shovel and a pickax strapped to his belt.
Can perform a logic-defying maneuver he calls a 'rocket jump' in which he shoots a rocket at his feet and jumps at the same time, propelling himself into the air. Due to his boots, this does 'less damage than it normally would', according to him. Occasionally, he will pull out his horn and blow it, which causes his rockets and shotgun shots to inflict more damage. And when using his pickax, the more injuries he has, the harsher his attacks with it are.
Biography: Born in America, Jane Doe was a patriot from the beginning. When he heard of the start of World War Two, he desperately wanted to get in on the action and fight for America. Despite his patriotism, he was rejected from every branch of the military. He persevered and bought his own ticket to Europe where he, after managing to locate Poland, taught himself to load and fire a bunch of different weapons and went on, what he called it, a 'Nazi Killing Spree'. Doe later rewarded himself with some self-made medals. He later stopped his rampage in the year of 1949 after hearing the war had ended a while ago. He returned to the United States and became roommates with a wizard. Soon after, he was hired by the company known as 'Reliable Excavation & Demolition' to fight for lands controlled by the 'Builder's League United'. He later lost his job when robots attacked the weapons provider known as 'Mann Co.' and his employer was killed by the robot's leader.
Suggested Round Location: The Rebel Flagship
An advanced spaceship that is the centerpiece for the Rebel Fleet. With its triple barreled ion, missile, and laser weapons, a strong beam weapon, quadruple layered shields, and a cloaking system, it is a force to be reckoned with. From the outside at least. On the inside, humans man the stations, if somewhat untrained. It appears some sort of ship from the opposing side is attacking, however. Hopefully the Flagship can stand up to this tiny ship. Or at least, stay together until the contestants are done with it.
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Dalmationer - 06-22-2014
Jane Doe has already won.
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Not The Author - 06-23-2014
Username: Q
Name: Jim
Gender: Male
Species: Human
Text Colour: Careful, this shade tears easily
Description: A charismatic, passionate man with a strong moral compass. Considerate to others and fiercely loyal (if sometimes less considerate) to his friends. Often reckless in the pursuit of his goals. Putting on a bit of weight, but in otherwise excellent health.
Items/Abilities: Skilled at mixed-martial arts. Great bluffer and tactical thinker. Equipped with a standard-issue phaser and communicator.
Biography: Currently at the tail end of a five-year mission to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and civilizations, and go boldly where no man has gone before.
Suggested Round Location: Cloudbank
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Mirdini - 06-23-2014
Username: Shut Up and Jam
Name: Charles Barkley
Gender: Male
Species: B-Baller
Text Colour: Spalding Orange
Description:
Items/Abilities:
The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041, a day so painful to some that it is referred to only as the “B-Ballnacht”. Thousands upon thousands of the world’s greatest ballers were massacred in a swath of violence and sports bigotry as the game was outlawed worldwide. The reason: the Chaos Dunk, a jam so powerful its mere existence threatens the balance of chaos and order. Among the few ballers and fans that survived the basketball genocide was Charles Barkley, the man capable of performing the “Verboten Jam”…
Doubleteam - Barkley's default jam can hit a single target multiple times.
Showboat Jam - This jam not only damages a single target, but also gives Barkley a boost in a random attribute.
Vampslam - Barkley will leap in the air and slam down on a foe, sapping their VP as he gains some back.
Holy Jam - Dikembe Mutumbo's forbidden jam......!
Ghost Muscle - Barkley flexes GHOST MUSCLE to gain BRAIN and POWER.
Barkley has on his person a B-Ball and two Ecto Coolers. He is wearing the Shrekmono.
Biography:
In 2041, basketball was made illegal and almost all b-ballers were massacred in what is now known as "The Great B-Ball Purge". Barkley lived, but he had lost his reason for living. B-Ball was gone.
He lived in the post-cyberpocalyptic ruins of Neo New York with his 12 year old son Hoopz. He'd given Hoopz all he could, but sometimes he wondered if it was enough...
The events that follow were chronicled in the vidcon Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden.
In 2053, another Chaos Dunk is performed in Manhattan, killing millions. Barkley is blamed for the Chaos Dunk and is hunted by the B-Ball Removal Department, led by Michael Jordan. A convoluted series of events follow. Finally, Barkley confronts the terrorist group B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. on their headquarters, the slave ship Necron 5. After defeating the traitorous Jordan in B-Ball Combat, he confronts the true leader of B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S., Shadow Barkley. Shadow Barkley was born from the Ultimate B-Ball and was set to destroy all life on earth with an unstoppable Chaos Dunk, but Barkley, Hoopz, Balthios and Cyberdwarf manage to defeat the doppelganger. With the Chaos Dunk still set to go off, the rest of the team escaped from Necron 5 while Charles Barkley stayed to perform one final Chaos Dunk to save the Earth.
However, Barkley did not perish following his final sacrifice. Moments after the destruction of Necron 5, Barkley was whisked away from the vacuum of space to a new universe. A universe where B-Ball... wasn't illegal.
Suggested Round Location: Pandora
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - AgentBlue - 06-23-2014
Username: Agenwhatisaroundme
Name: Willy Wonka
Gender: Male
Species: Chocolatier
Text Colour: #800080
Description:
actually
(insert actual descriptive paragraph from the book when i find it)
(i couldn't find it)
Items/Abilities: A cane! A knowledge of candy that rivals Prodnose and competitors! A cane!
Biography: Read the book!
Suggested Round Location: Grandfail
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Robust Laser - 06-23-2014
Username: Maxwell
Name:
![[Image: 300px-Wolfgang.png]](https://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140330211944/dont-starve-game/images/thumb/a/af/Wolfgang.png/300px-Wolfgang.png)
Gender: Mighty man!
Species: Mighty human!
Text Colour: Salmon are pretty mighty.
Description: After a hearty meal, one would be a bit wary of choosing to pick a fight with Wolfgang, with his fantastic handlebar moustache, strong jawline, and muscles so large they threaten to tear off his red and white striped shirt! Surely no man could go toe to toe with a well fed Wolfgang.
A hungry Wolfgang, however, is a different story. You'd barely believe it was the same person. All those muscles simply wither away, his face somehow manages to undefine itself, and even his moustache can't handle it any more, receding to a shadow of its former self.
Regardless of his appearance, Wolfgang remains a confident man, sure of his great strength more than anything else. He takes great pleasure in victory, even the little ones, and especially if it means showing off how strong he is (even if he's just showing off to himself).
Oh yeah, and he's afraid of the dark. I mean, the dark is all, like, dark! There could be monsters there! Oh and spiders! Spiders are also scary. And did he mention monsters? But hey, maybe this next world won't have any of those!
Items/Abilities: As previously mentioned, he gets buffer as he gets more full. His strength is proportional to his hunger. On a completely full stomach, he can pretty much punch through walls, but while starving he might not even scratch the paint.
Thanks to his survival experience, he's also fairly decent at building things to facilitate it. Y'know, fire pits, axes, picks, science machines, top hats, lightning rods, football helmets, crock pots, bee mines... Just, y'know, basic survival stuff.
With him he's got a suit that appears to be made out of a log, a backpack full of bunnies, two pieces of gold, and a boomerang with a few chips in it.
When it is pitch dark, you are likely to be eaten by a grue. Or at least, in Wolfgang's experience, the complete darkness comes with an unseeable monster named Charlie. Very frightening. Very deadly. Probably left behind in that other world though, right?
Biography: Wolfgang's life before meeting Maxwell isn't really important here. All that matters is this Maxwell fellow scooped him up and brought him to a strange and dangerous world, and basically just told him to try and survive. And so he did! He set up camp, fought spiders and monstrous hounds (and he swears he barely cried at all!) Went nearly mad, nearly starving, and nearly dead (and at least one time actually dead, as strange as it seemed at the time), and begrudgingly placed his trust in science, but after surviving the Winter, he decided it would be finally time to escape, and find the man who brought him here in the first place.
One door later and he was in a similar, yet harsher world. The cold was unforgiving, but having survived the harshness of winter before, he knew his mighty muscles could take it. With a full belly and sheer force of will, he travelled across this frozen land and grabbed a bunch of mysterious things from places that really didn't want to let him have them. They seemed to fit together so easily, creating a portal that he was sure would take him towards Maxwell, or at least another world like this, closer to his destination.
But today, Maxwell had different plans it seems.
Suggested Round Location: Mars' moon, Deimos, currently floating above Hell itself.
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Dragon Fogel - 06-24-2014
Name: Alenia
Gender: Female
Race: Human and proud of it, as only humans are fit to serve the glorious Gizel Godwin.
Text Color: This shade of dark red is the greatest color ever gazed upon by Gizel Godwin.
Biography: Alenia was chosen as a Queen's Knight, one of the key defenders of the Queen of Falena. Queen Arshtat was a wise and great ruler but she had some significant flaws, such as only unleashing the devastating power of the Sun Rune on a single village.
Though obviously Alenia was always completely loyal to Arshtat, she knew that Gizel Godwin would be a far superior leader and hoped that he would win the hand of Princess Lymsleia in the Sacred Games. Fortunately, he did, through entirely legitimate means, and so he would be the next Commander of the Queen's Knights.
Unfortunately, that was not enough for Falena as a whole to immediately benefit from the wisdom of Gizel's leadership, as Arshtat was still queen. That changed a few months later, when the palace was attacked by mysterious assailants and the Queen was tragically killed. A completely impartial investigation by the Godwin family revealed that the Queen's own son was behind the attack and that she had been killed by one of her own knights. Both were marked as traitors, as were all of their associates.
Unfortunately, the traitorous prince became quite influential and began organizing a rebellion, against his own sister, the new queen. Naturally, as a loyal Queen's Knight, Alenia completely opposed the Prince's tyrannical ambitions and completely supported Gizel and also the newly-crowned Queen Lymsleia, who was unfortunately too young to yet appreciate Gizel's vision for the nation.
Over the course of the rebellion, Alenia was entrusted with the Twilight Rune, one of the Queendom's treasures. Though she could not use its full power, she vowed to turn every ounce of strength she had with it against the traitorous and vicious rebels who every right-thinking citizen of Falena despised.
However, before the climactic battle in which she would no doubt have emerged victorious, Alenia disappeared.
Description:
![[Image: Alenia.png]](https://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090830194614/suikoden/images/6/61/Alenia.png)
Alenia is a red-haired woman dressed in the uniform of the Queen's Knights. She is intensely loyal to Gizel Godwin, because he is the ideal leader for Falena. Anyone who denies this obvious truth is clearly a traitor who should be executed for the good of the queendom. She doesn't like nonhumans because there is no place for them in Gizel Godwin's vision for Falena, and will loyally attack any that cross her path.
If she were sent to a strange place, she would no doubt seek to claim it for Falena, or wipe it from existence if Gizel wouldn't have liked it.
Weapons and Abilities: Alenia is good with a sword, and always carries hers with her. She also has the Twilight Rune, which has the power of darkness; however, as she wasn't actually chosen by the rune, she can't unleash its full power. She can use it to cast a sleep spell or unleash blasts of darkness, though.
Her other main ability is her devotion to Gizel Godwin, who is the greatest leader Falena has ever seen.
Suggested round location: King Dugan's Dungeon, or rather the sprawling mass of dungeons beneath the surface, all connected through secret passages. They're filled with monsters and traps all placed carefully in deadly rooms (of death) and generally give you a headache trying to figure out what you're supposed to do. (Mostly suggested so you all can share in my pain in some small way.)
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - SleepingOrange - 06-24-2014
There are more than enough characters now for two full battles, and since there's no real host and thus no set time to close signup, I'm making an EXECUTIVE DECISION: There will be two battles (Super Otaku Brawl and Super Otaku WiiU [working titles]), and we all need to pick which one we'll be in now. Entry will be first-come but you can switch if you want to I guess. So pick a battle, everyone, and if you still want in but haven't submitted a profile yet, get submitting before sides have been picked.
Ix's Thread:
1: Thanos (elpie)
2: Tobias (Garuru)
3: Bully Demise (MrGuy)
4: Anger Crabman (Dalmationer)
5: Nancy Little (SleepingOrange)
6: Jane Doe (SupahKiven)
7: Jim (Not The Author)
8: Charles Barkley (Mirdini)
9: Alenia (Dragon Fogel)
∞:
Slorange's Thread:
1: Jack Spicer (Ixcaliber)
2: The Clown (Masterblade)
3: Rayquaza (Schazer)
4: Starscream (seedy)
5: Shadow the Hedgehog (Solaris)
6: Willy Wonka (AgentBlue)
7: Shrek (bigro)
8: Wolfgang (cyber95)
9:
∞:
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Ixcaliber - 06-24-2014
I guess I would like to be in Slorange's Thread for fairness.
Also petition for Super Otaku Brawl Gaiden.
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - MasterBlade - 06-24-2014
Clown will be in whatever battle Thanos isn't in.
Because Thanos terrifies me.
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Gatr - 06-24-2014
(06-24-2014, 02:15 AM)MasterBlade Wrote: »Clown will be in whatever battle Thanos isn't in.
Because Thanos terrifies me.
The opposite of this.
Or just Ix's thread. Whatever.
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - AgentBlue - 06-24-2014
Candy.
RE: Super Otaku Brawl - Robust Laser - 06-24-2014
Wolfgang goes wherever his incredible physique and wondrous handlebar moustache are needed most.