You are CHIMPERS JANE; SPACE-MONKEY by law.

You and your crew capsule are the last aspects still around of the Greek space program, now that the ship itself blew-up to oblivion in orbit a few minutes ago. You have landed on the surface of Mars, albeit in a violent and dangerous matter. Seeing as this mission was originally designed to test the effects of quote, "Throwing monkeys into space with no chances of recovery, y'know?" the fact you even reached Mars is ten miracles fused at the hideous, deformed hip!

So good for you; pity you'll probably die on this godforsaken planet. You have no way to re-enter orbit, and oxygen supplies were designed for tiny monkey-lungs. You'll be damned if you don't shrug off death as much as humanly possible, though!

What will you do?

(06-19-2013, 09:37 PM)Coolacanth Wrote: »Have there been any other missions to Mars that you know of?????

...

You're DRAWING A TOTAL BLANK! You never kept up with SPACE MISSIONS, you were just the MONKEY TRAINER, not a PROFESSIONAL ASTRONAUT!

(06-19-2013, 07:42 PM)Dalmationer Wrote: »>Look out the window, behold your wonderful new Mars scenery! Yay!

WOOOOW!



What a bunch of DEAD, BARREN ROCKS! Whats the point?

Unfortunately, your NIHILISM STAT is too high to even understand the concept that is BEAUTY IN NATURE!

(06-20-2013, 06:12 PM)FelixSparks Wrote: »Venture out of ship!

Uh oh! The DOOR is stuck!

At least, you hope it's stuck, and not broken after SOME VITAL PIECE OF EQUIPMENT burned up while entering ORBIT!

(06-22-2013, 06:11 PM)ICantGiveCredit Wrote: »> Smash window, crawl your way out

CLAUSTROPHOBIA AAAAAAAAAGH!



In hindsight, what you just did might have been a PRETTY BAD IDEA. Seriously you don't even know where to start.

(06-23-2013, 05:11 PM)Kíeros Wrote: »> Try to kick the door open.

Uh, you sort of left a BIT OF A DENT in the door, that's close enough, right?

Lets just go back a bit here and take it from the top.

(06-26-2013, 12:10 AM)Kíeros Wrote: »> Well then, just push buttons randomly.

Like your MOTHER always said "When all else fails, you're mostly screwed! Push those damn buttons on the piloting interface!", you are still shocked she had been a SCHIZOPHRENIC all of your childhood without you knowing!



There are a lot of buttons here, jeez! Hard to believe this interface was designed for MONKEYS let alone PEOPLE.

Look at this button here for example, it will probably do something COMPLETELY AND NEEDLESSLY CONFUSING!



As you press it, a nearby PANEL opens up, to reveal what appears to be SOME FORM OF COMBINATION PADLOCK, go figure.

Any monkeys on this vehicle would have died from PUZZLE-INDUCED INSANITY without a doubt. You may just die from insanity, too! What is the point of this senseless crap?

(06-27-2013, 06:35 AM)Dragon Fogel Wrote: »Well, since this puzzle is designed for monkeys, clearly the combination must be something monkeys would think of easily.

Try the combination Banana-Banana-Banana-Banana.

(06-27-2013, 04:58 PM)Kíeros Wrote: »> Try 1235. That's the security, adding one.

You're pretty sure BOTH OF THE INPUTED COMBINATIONS are invalid!

You see, the potential options are: an APPLE, an ORANGE, a CHERRY, and a ZERO as well for some reason. You're completely sick of this thing already, you never got the NUMBER FOUR as an ABSTRACT CONCEPT! You're pretty fine with OTHER NUMBERS, but that four sure is a doozy.

(06-28-2013, 06:41 PM)Kíeros Wrote: »> Hold all 4 buttons down at once. That has to give you the right answer eventually.

You're a GENIUS! It couldn't be simpler then this!

Yup, something is getting printed nearby, probably telling you HOW MUCH OF A GENIUS YOU AR-



Or not.

Okay, maybe you're on the WRONG TRACK here a bit.